a chocolate vanilla swirl, but air
i just had the WILDEST experience, i gotta share!
every morning i meditate for 20 minutes to help anxiety. i use the headspace app’s managing anxiety course and i literally only do that every day. i just restart it in perpetuity because it is that helpful to me. anyway so jacques(my cat) and i are meditating… and we had a crazy experience where in realtime we were present for a cold front coming through and the changing of temperature(10 degree shift). here’s a poem about it.
choco vanilla swirl
in a fog i wake
i am still
rolling down the road
i am still
the refreshing impact of levity
i am still
hair on end, senses overwhelmed
i am still
warmth holding on for dear life
i am still
a choco vanilla swirl
i am the cone
the whip of frigidity here to stay
i am shocked to transition
nature reflecting me reflecting nature
i am one
i was finding it hard to write this week. i’m starting to take on some copywriting work and my inner child got scared that we were assuming a new identity and will loose ourselves again. so i kiiiinda avoided the newsletter this week. i understand. i’ve been in a phase of new-ness for 11 months now. breaking free from the patterns and life that i had in LA to embrace the space to let myself shine in the midwest. sounds great. it’s really hard. it’s bumpy, there’s tons of uncertainty. i’m learning to trust myself every day. some days i’m better at it than others. the important thing is that i show up. i show up for myself, my friends, my purpose, my growing menagerie of cats. here’s a feline interlude:
anyway so here i am showing up. telling anxiety to fuck off (once again), telling depression that it’s a slimy little bitch (again). i’m alex and i choose what goes on here. thats not to say i’m ignoring my feelings, i very much cannot not acknowledge them. but there’s a crest of these all consuming emotions that brings me to a crossroads. when i know exactly what’s happening, when i have enough space from the emotion to know when the scale can tip into a danger zone. do i indulge in the luxury of staying in anxiety? or do i do what’s healthy for me and step away, show up and get on with life?
today i’m choosing the latter. it’s hard. it’s messy. i do really desire to do it, but the temptress of victimization and it’s partner self-aggrandizement want to lure me back in. thank god i was with nature in its transition, thank god it shows me i can do it for myself. thank god.
what i’m working on this week :
personally : i’m focusing on being of service this week. anxiety has been really a bear to deal with the past couple days and i know that part of counteracting that for myself is by simply being there for my community. put my shit aside and be of service.
work : i’m taking on freelance copywriting work so if you know anyone who’s looking for a copywriter send them my way! i specialize in seo content/blogging and product copy(product descriptions, website copy, etc)
purpose : hmm i haven’t thought about the big picture in a couple of days. i think some tweeks could be made to keep me out of short term thinking but not too much to note right now.
events i have coming up :
a workshop with creative mornings on december 12th about building self trust through art exploration! no links until closer to the date but mark your calendars okay!
thank you so very much, you mean more to me than you know
-alex